Where is the Health Department when you need them?

Ok friends, if you have a weak stomach, this is NOT the post for you to read.

**Disclaimer** There is not going to be anything too graphic. Instead, the graphic words will be written in terms of happiness and flowers, sunshine and rainbows. **End of Disclaimer**

Jeff and I set aside some time to go to different hotels/motels in Ottawa to block off rooms for guests for the wedding (word has reached us that people are already starting to make reservations... YIKES! Time to get out booties in gear!).

In order for you to understand out experience, it is important to understand the composition of the community. For those of you who have never been to Ottawa, it is divided into 3 areas:

1. "From the College" - These are students at OU or Neosho CC. The label "From the College" applies to students who remain in Ottawa year round and up to five years after graduation.

2. "Townies" - They are the people who live in Ottawa without going to the local colleges. Often associated drinking and partying with people "From the College" but are often the families who take in the "From the College" kids for dinners and holidays when they have no nearby family.

3. "Dirties" - Townies that never quite make it to elevated status. Their personal hygeine is questionable and they are often associated with giving STDs to people "From the College."

Ah, but I digress. We took these into consideration as we were looking at the various hotel/motels. We wanted something that emphasized the "From the College" or the family friendly "Townies." There are 7 hotel/motel options in Ottawa. We decided to enter the decision in a systematic manner. We were going to ask to see the rooms to get an idea of size and anemities and then discuss prices and discounts. Here is a running dialog of our day:

Place #1. I know this place because we used to sneak in and use the pool when under different management. Front lobby has STRONG incense burning, not good for people with allergies. Rooms fairly large and nice. Manager was willing to give discounts but became very pushy when we stated we were going to look at other places.

Place #2. Nicer place, has great continental breakfast (used to sneak in for the breakfast). Asked to see rooms. Was told it was inconvenient, but that there were rooms we could look at. Jeff turned a rare shade of green upon seeing the bathrooms, and there was dried *sunshine and rainbows* all over a recliner in one room, and *happiness and flowers* all over the bed covers in the other room we viewed. Jeff almost puked and we got creative with getting back to the lobby without touching anything directly.

Place #3. CLEAN. HOLY CLEAN. Rooms are cracker-jack sized, but HOLY CLEAN. The paint had almost been scrubbed off the walls. Oh, but the hallways smelled of cooking fish. This is what a hotel would look like if Jeff ran one. CLEAN.

Place #4. This is my parents' favorite and the one they always stay in. Excellent quality, great anemities, very clean. Cleaning staff has excellent personalities and serenaded us.

Place #5. Staff needs to pull manager out of bed at 1015. He comes out with attitude and tells us we cannot look at any room. Staff reminds him why we are there, and he gives us keys to rooms upstairs. Wait, what is that? Is that a used *sunshine and rainbow* laying on the ground? EW EW EW EW EW!!! Jeff carried me back downstairs for fear that I would step on something and get a disease. Back downstairs, the manager was dressed in gang-like clothing and essentially opened his mouth to say "I am the dirtiest of the dirties and this is a classy joint." Manager stated we should check out #6, but that he was "a little better" than that. Based on his distorted perception of "class," we thought we should at least check it out, and we were running out of options.

Place #6. Florescent sign on roof. Sign saying rooms were "Rent by the hour." Drove by without stopping.

Place #7. Big size, decent room. Manager offered to throw in "free crib" for anyone who needs one. Spent many hours in college there. Coffee was not the best, but pool was nice to use.

Then we came home and scrubbed ourselves with bleach (rightfully so in my opinion).

Overall, we decided we are NOT going to let our family members stay anywhere where *happiness and flowers* may find them. We hope to have rooms blocked off soon... and we refuse to let our friends and families stay somewhere questionable. It is important to remember that with the bad comes the good and even though there were scary parts of the day, we were also able to get THISMUCH closer to our special day and sharing it with all of you. :)