Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Who Wears Short Shorts? :)

My dear friends, with the nicer weather and warmer temperatures, I feel it imperative to address the problem that many of us face: shorts that ride up while walking.

There are many different ways to solve this problem, and those who experience it seem to have come up with a variety of solutions to fit their body type, level of fitness, and activity.

In general, I have noticed a large uprising of capri type workout pants. These are wonderful for cooler weather or for when you simply do not want to bother with rising short lines, but seem pretty impractical for the heatwave we are currently experiencing.

Please note, my friends, that I am not only coming to you as the president of the anti short riding committee, I am also a member. ... ? Or something like that. I'm sure you remember the commercials.

As I have been walking Duncan lately (and walking, and walking, and walking... seriously, I have been discovering MORE about our neighborhood with this beautiful weather... I found a park the other day!), I have been experimenting with different ways to keep down shorts that have been riding up, and I thought this would be the best forum to share with you my critiques these methods. :)

1. The popular "lean down and pick." Pros: Effective solution for lowering shorts that have risen up your legs. Cons: You look like a stinking idiot, and it calls attention to the problem.

2. The "climbing a staircase" step, often used in combination with the "lean down and pick." By raising your leg high to step up onto a curb or stair, the "pick" does not require leaning down. Pros: Less noticeable than the "lean down and pick," quick method for lowering shorts that have risen up your legs. Cons: Short term effectiveness, often no curbs or stairs located conveniently enough on your walk to make this a practical solution, and if you miss the pick at just the right moment, it solves nothing and you are stuck with the "lean down and pick" option.

3. The "zig zag" step. This is where you widen your steps and move your legs in a zig zag pattern. Those of you who have done this know exactly what I am talking about. The zigging (or zagging) allows for extra space between the legs for the shorts to fall down naturally. Pros: No leaning and picking here, folks! Cons: Not effective for all people, all the time. Also, I would like to point out that if you have a "shelf" where the shorts have made a comfortable home, this is not likely to be an effective solution.

4. The "basketball pivot to see if anyone is behind you" step. This particular move is gold, my friends. Here, you would do a basketball type pivot, where one foot is planted and you spin your hips approximately 90 degrees behind you so that your body opens up. You would simultaneously look over what is now your back shoulder as you touch your non-planted toe on the ground, straighten your leg (and possibly give a little shake or flex to your leg... depending on the strength with which you pivoted, this may not be necessary), and your shorts should fall back into place. Pros: Nobody knows you are doing this because your shorts have ridden up; it is polite to keep an eye out for other walkers, runners, joggers, and dogs that may be coming up behind you and need space on the sidewalk. Cons: Incessant use of this step may cause people to become suspicious of you having a paranoia disorder.

5. Wear capris... in the insane heat... *shudder*... ugh.

These are a few solutions I have been trying during our evening walks. If you have any others you would like to share (for the good of all humanity), please do so.

Hope all is well with you and yours (and that this made you chuckle)! :)

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